A brand new website which has been created to help anyone who is looking for sperm donation or wants to find a sperm donor, a surrogate or a co-parent to have a child.
Co-Parents.net is a dating site for co-parenting and sperm donors.
We are an introduction and social networking website aimed at connecting and introducing men, women and couples who would like to have a baby but haven't found the right person to have one with yet. You can also communicate with other people directly on our sperm donor forum from all over the world such as USA, UK, Australia and many other regions.If you're in need of a sperm donor, join our sperm donation forum today! Here at Co-parents.net, we have more than 20.000 sperm donor profiles to choose from.The sperm donor search tools let you view sperm donor's information on line by age, gender and country.
We update our sperm donor lists regularly, so the sperm donor search helps you to find the donor you seek.Co-Parents.net provides service to anyone who wants a child but can't do so the traditional way, as well as those prepared to help these people by Sperm Donation. Co-parent.net helps you find your co-parent, your sperm donor or your surrogate mother. All sperm donors whether non anonymous or anonymous has to go under a medical test before the sperm donation takes place. This medical screening is an important process as it verifies that the baby you are going to have with the donated sperm will be healthy.
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Meet the co-parents: friends not lovers
Meet the co-parents: friends not lovers - Telegraph
What’s it like to have a child with someone who’s a friend but not a lover? More and more people are doing just that, to satisfy their broodiness. Helen Croydon investigates
Sabrina, Zaide, Kam and Kirsty Photo: EVA VERMANDELSeven years ago, when Sabrina Morgan, 33, was single and desperate for a child, she found herself chatting to Kam Wong, 41, a gay man who was longing to be a father, in an online fertility forum. 'I instantly thought he was genuine, down-to-earth, laidback and flexible,’ says Sabrina.
'We exchanged pictures. It wasn’t about sexual attraction, obviously, but it was important what he looked like. I asked him if he had any history of baldness and loose teeth. It was part humour but it was also my way to steer towards more serious questions, like does he have any genetic health conditions.’
For Kam, who is in a long-term relationship, contacting Sabrina was about more than being a sperm donor: 'I adore children. The desire to have my own has always been with me. Because of my sexuality I thought it might never happen. The urge grew stronger in my thirties until one day I researched options. When I met Sabrina I was very nervous. This was my chance to fulfil my dreams.’
It took Sabrina six years to conceive through IVF. By then she had met Kirsty Slack, 37, who is now her romantic partner. Sabrina and Kirsty live together and are Zaide’s primary carers. Kam visits weekly, which will increase as Zaide gets older.
Kam and Sabrina are one of the growing number of couples in so-called 'co-parenting’ relationships – biological parents who have a close but platonic relationship and both contribute to child-rearing . Co-parenting isn’t just for the gay community. Straight men and women are choosing to put romance aside in the name of reproduction.
Catherine, 41, met Steve, 39, on the website co-parentmatch.com. He is gay and she has been single for two years. He lives in London for his job as an analyst but will join Catherine in Swansea if and when he gets her pregnant, through artificial insemination (AI).
It isn’t that Catherine doesn’t want to find love but that she wants a child more: 'I’ve stopped looking for a partner. Of course I need love, but I can have a partner at any age. I can only have a child now,’ she says.
Traditionally, fertility networking sites introduce anonymous donors and recipients and the relationship ends there. Yet co-parentmatch.com and its smaller competitor, coparents.net, have added a new dimension; men can either donate sperm anonymously or opt to share in parenting duties, too. Both sites report a marked rise in numbers ticking the co-parenting box.
Tomorrow sees the launch of pollentree.com, started by Patrick and Rita D’Alton-Harrison, ex-lawyers from north London. Rita had the idea after a number of single female friends asked for legal advice on sperm donation. 'One had looked into IVF but found the prices extortionate so turned to the internet to seek a donor. I was horrified. That’s when we had the idea to create a safe environment for women like her to explore all parenting routes.
'We can’t believe the number of young, straight women joining our site who say they are simply not prepared to wait for Mr Right. The attitude seems to be, “I’m not going to compromise with a relationship just to have children.”’
Catherine started her online search after a break-up from a three-year relationship with a man who didn’t want children. 'I’d just turned 39 and thought, “I don’t have time for this to happen again.” In a worst-case scenario I would seek an anonymous donor, but I’ve always thought a child needs a father. At the very least I wanted a donor who would visit regularly.’
Catherine chatted to Steve for a month online before meeting: 'When I saw him my heart jumped. I thought, “Finally it’s going to happen!” I was happy for him to stay in London, but he wanted to be fully involved. Now I’m helping him find a job in Swansea.’
If Catherine conceives they plan to live together for a trial period: 'We know we could end up like a bickering couple. If so we will live separately. I have friends with small children – I could see how hard it would be for me to live alone. Who would go out to get nappies and milk if I ran out?’
Leila Knox, 47, has had less luck. She didn’t hear about co-parenting until last September, after three years exploring other routes, including two expensive cycles of intrauterine insemination, a form of AI, at a licensed fertility clinic. Treatment costs up to £1,000 per ovulation cycle, plus £600 for each vial of sperm. Leila beat the odds to conceive but miscarried at four weeks.
Fertility clinics or any organisation involved in processing, storing or selling frozen gametes in Britain must have a licence from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA). There is no law governing co-parent or donor websites because they are merely acting as an introduction agency. Donors at registered sperm banks remain anonymous until children reach the age of 18.
But this rule doesn’t apply to children born from 'fresh’ samples in private donor agreements. That was a plus for Leila: 'I was never comfortable with the idea of my child not knowing anything about their father. When I found out there are websites where you can meet the donors, I was on the hunt!’
Leila’s first 'date’ in her co-parent search, was Paul, a 43-year-old pilot. 'We met at a Café Rouge for drinks. It felt more intense than a date. You are choosing someone who will pass on traits to the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with – your child.
'He was clean-cut with dark hair and green eyes. He told me he was a strict Catholic and had had only one serious relationship, with a girl from his church, who didn’t want children. He ached to be a parent and this was the quickest way he could make that happen.’
After three meetings they set a date to do the deed. 'You’d think that would be less weird than having sex. It was more weird. Picture it: there’s a stranger in your bathroom masturbating while you go for a walk around the block. When you get back he hands you a pot and leaves. You’re left to do the female bit, which is messy and uncomfortable.’
A pregnancy test 10 days later came out negative. After finding the encounter with Paul so awkward, Leila decided to try natural insemination (NI) – a euphemism in fertility forums for full sex – with her next potential suitor, Carl. 'I can see that could be unthinkable for a woman who is gay, in a relationship or has been assaulted ,’ she says. 'But I’m single. I don’t have barriers about sex.’
Carl was a single, attractive, 35-year-old IT consultant. After phone calls and emails they met while Leila was ovulating. 'I have rules for normal dates – I would never sleep with someone straight away. This meant throwing the rulebook out the window,’ she says.
'He was attractive but I wasn’t attracted to him. He had two children from a previous relationship. He said he wanted more but didn’t want the full-time responsibilities of raising them. I’ve extrapolated from my experiences that many guys like to feel their genes are “out there”.’
Leila did become pregnant but miscarried at 12 weeks. Most recent in her search is Luke, a scientist from Denmark. They’ve talked daily since November and Luke is planning a London trip to coincide with Leila’s ovulation. He would consider moving to London to be close to their child and even live with Leila, though she would prefer to keep her independence.
Leila and Catherine have a rosy vision of happy platonic families, but some experts are sceptical. Rachel Andrew, a clinical psychologist , says, 'As with any couple, the mother and father may differ on parenting values such as discipline or learning. A first-time parent is likely to be more flippant, thinking they’ll agree on everything and those things will fall into place. You don’t know if an arrangement like this will be a help or a hindrance.’
Kairen Cullen, a psychologist and the author of Introducing Child Psychology, says, 'Parenting is full of challenges and hiccups. The emotional connection between couples is the glue that holds it together. I would worry about the implications of an absence of romance and sex between parents.’
Yet Kam and Sabrina say they haven’t encountered any hurdles so far. Before Zaide was born, they each put in writing their priorities for their relationship.
For Sabrina and Kirsty it came down to practicalities: 'The main thing was level of contact. We agreed we would wait at least eight months before Kam takes Zaide out alone. As he gets older we’d like Kam to have more of a role so we can have child-free days with each other; I suggested we all take a holiday together once a year. I wanted to set boundaries too, so I wrote that Kam should give us ample notice when he visits.’
Kam highlighted Zaide’s education: 'I wanted to be the decision-maker on schooling. I said I would set funds aside that he can use for university if he wants. Being Chinese, I would like him to learn Cantonese. And I wanted my own family – his grandparents – to be part of his life.’
'We were incredibly open and honest,’ adds Kirsty. 'We talked about everything from discipline styles to the moral values we want to instil in Zaide , right down to how many toys he has.’
Their written agreement isn’t legally binding but acts as a point of guidance. 'We constantly say that if any of us feels uncomfortable or unhappy about something, we will sit down and discuss things fairly,’ says Sabrina.
They don’t see themselves as pioneers, certainly not within the gay community where many couples have children using donors. But they do see themselves as role models for co-parenting. They hope to share their experiences with aspiring co-parents at the Alternative Families Show in London in September. 'The key thing is to communicate,’ advises Sabrina. 'Choose someone you would be friends with outside of this situation.’
Kairen Cullen warns that we don’t yet know how children could be affected by a non-conventional family backdrop. 'Parents are the first teachers. That is how children become motivated to engage in relationships as they grow up. It is important that children witness a range of adult relationships including romantic ones. If all children were brought up in a co-parenting framework it would be hard to speculate about the long-term effects.’
But co-parenting may not be unconventional for long. About 800 children each year are born in Britain through donated sperm, according to the HFEA. Donor conception has become a buzz topic since the success of films like The Kids Are All Right, about two siblings born through AI, and the More 4 documentary Sperm Donor Unknown, about a woman’s search for her biological father.
Sabrina asserts that far from co-parenting being an inferior model, there are aspects of it that beat conventional parenting. ' We selected a partner on an intellectual level. Most couples rely on that gut reaction of finding someone attractive. We didn’t choose on an aesthetic or instinctive level. It was about carefully selecting someone based on long-term qualities. If couples separate, they have to renegotiate boundaries around access to children. But we already have those things worked out.’
